As
we pursue a love relationship with the Lord, loving Him with all of our heart,
it is vitally important that we allow Him access to every recess of our heart.
He knows our heart even better than we do; He is faithful to sift out anything
that hinders fellowship with Him and He is faithful to plant in us a deeper
understanding of Who He is.
The
greatest obstacle to intimacy with the Lord is offense. When we harbor offense
in our hearts, left unchecked, it produces resentment, unforgiveness,
bitterness, and the desire for vengeance; this becomes an insurmountable
impediment to our relationship with Him.
In
the parable of the wicked servant, Jesus describes the servant who, although
forgiven a great debt by his master, refuses to forgive and release a fellow
servant a menial debt. When the fellow servants report the wicked servant’s
behavior to the master, the master calls the unforgiving servant before him and
confronts him concerning his uncompassionate behavior (Matt. 18:21-33). Jesus
closes this parable (verses 34-35) with this statement, “And his master was angry, and
delivered him to the torturers (one
who elicits the truth by the use of the rack; an inquisitor, torturer; also
used of a jailer doubtless because the business of torturing was also assigned
to him) until he should
pay all that was due to him. So My heavenly Father also will do to you if each
of you, from his heart, does not forgive his brother his trespasses.”
In
other words, Jesus is saying when we refuse to forgive; we bind ourselves in a
prison of pain and torment, held captive by the jailer of offense. Until we
choose to forgive and release those we have bound by the chains of
unforgiveness, we remain bound.
Jesus
had quite a bit to say about offense, for example, “Woe to the world because of
offenses! For offenses must come, but woe to that man by whom the offense
comes! Matt. 18:7
The
Greek word used here for offense is the word skandalon which is the movable bait stick of a
bait box or animal trap.
The
bait is placed on the skandalon to lure the animal into the trap. As the animal
enters the box and takes the bait, the skandalon releases the trap door
and the animal is ensnared or imprisoned, alive, in the box.
My
family and I once lived in a neighborhood that was overwrought with feral cats.
One feral cat in particular made a habit of screeching and howling right under
our bedroom window for what seemed like nights on end. Unwilling to endure
another sleepless night, but not wanting to harm the cat, my husband called animal
control. They arrived equipped with a wire bait box and instructions as to how
to use it. Simply place some tuna on the bait stick (skandalon), set it, and
wait. And so we did.
That
same day my husband and I heard screeches and howling at decibels we had never
heard from an animal. We walked outside and lo and behold, the cat had taken
the bait, tripped the bait stick (skandalon), and was trapped in the bait box
alive. It appeared to be stunned, but was pacing in circles within the box.
Animal control could not arrive until later that day, so we left the cat in the
box until they could arrive.
We
checked on the cat periodically throughout the day and noticed that the longer
the cat remained in the box, the more aggressive it became. After a few hours
in the box, it had worked itself into a frenzy. It continuously hissed, spun
around, growled (is that possible from a cat? It appeared so!), and scratched
at the air--all the while tufts of fur flew here and there. The cat was
tormented by its confinement to the wire box, but it compounded its torment by
harming itself as it raged out of control.
We
felt so sorry for the poor thing that we eventually took it to another location
and released it--that was a scene in and of itself! But once released, it
calmed down and went on its way.
That
experience has served as an incredibly accurate visual for me regarding
offense.
When
we harbor offense, it is as if we hit the skandalon of a bait box--the trap
door closes, and we become imprisoned; trapped
in the torment of the snare our own bitter, angry, resentful thoughts. The
longer we are trapped in that bait box of offense, the more we work ourselves
into a frenzy until thoughts, emotions, and eventually actions are out of
control.
In
whatever area of our heart we harbor offense, it is in that area, we experience
torment; the greatest torment of the prison of offense being that barrier it
creates between us and God, between our heart and His.
Each
time we become offended and fail to deal with that offense, we add additional
reinforcement to that partition in our hearts. If left unchecked, that area of
our heart becomes “walled off,” creating a hardness, which not only impedes our
relationship with God, but with others as well.
Jesus
taught on this very principle in the parable of the sower. He tells the story
of a sower who sowed seed into four different types of soil. As Jesus
interprets the parable, we discover that the seed is the Word of God and the
soil is the heart of man. Within this parable, Jesus addresses a situation
where seed is sown into a condition of the heart He refers to as “stony” and
expounds on the consequences of sowing the Word into such a place:
“But
he who received the seed on stony (rocky) places, this is he who hears
the word and immediately receives it with joy; yet he has no root in himself,
but endures only for a
while. For when tribulation (pressing,
pressing together; pressure; oppression, affliction, tribulation, distress) or persecution (infliction of pain, punishment,
or death unjustly for adhering to a religious creed) arises because of the word,
immediately he stumbles/falls away (skandalizo).” Matt. 13:20-21
The stony ground represents a heart
hardened by sin, “But exhort
one another daily, while it is called ‘Today,’ lest any of you be hardened (to make hard; render obstinate or
stubborn) through the
deceitfulness (to ensnare or
mislead) of sin (to be without a share in; to miss
the mark; to err; miss or wander from the path of uprightness and honor, to do
or go wrong; to wander from the law of God, violate God's law, sin; that which
is done wrong, sin, an offence, a violation of the divine law in thought or in
act).” (Hebrews 3:13)
The
seed of offense left to germinate in the human heart, produces the fruit of
vengeance. Vengeance or revenge is an act of punishing the offender or the
act of vindicating ourselves by inflicting pain or evil on the offender or
wrong doer.
The
allure of vengeance is enticing to the flesh. It offers the false promise of
alleged satisfaction in making
those who have hurt us, hurt. When we choose to exact vengeance, it becomes a
snare to us. We believe the lie that is as old as time, the lie that Adam and
Eve succumb to when tempted by the serpent.
God
had given Adam and Eve access to everything in the paradise of Eden, all except
the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. That one tree was off limits,
forbidden by the Creator.
The
serpent sowed seeds of doubt concerning the goodness and righteousness of God
into Eve’s heart, assuring her that if she deviated from God’s way, she would
not surely die, but would become like Him. Satan had baited Eve with offense.
The serpent insinuated that God was withholding something good from both her
and Adam. If God was so good, why would He withhold something good from her?
The skandalon was set. Eve took the bait, and became ensnared in the trap of
offense.
Eve
not only ate of the fruit, but shared the fruit with her husband as well:
Genesis 3:6, “So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, that it
was pleasant to the eyes, and a tree desirable to make one wise, she took of
its fruit and ate. She also gave to her husband with her, and he ate.”
Adam,
in choosing to join Eve in the sin of offense, became defiled by that sin.
In
Hebrews 12:15, we are encouraged to sanctify or set ourselves apart for God’s
purposes (walking in grace) and we discover that the simmering by product of
offense, bitterness, acts as a poison not only to the one who harbors such a
thing, but also spreads to those around the embittered soul; “Pursue peace with all people, and
holiness (consecration,
purification; the effect of consecration; sanctification of heart and life),
without which no one will see the Lord: looking carefully lest anyone fall
short of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up cause
trouble, and by this many become defiled (to
dye with another color; to defile, pollute, sully, contaminate, soil).”
The
deceitfulness of choosing her way over God’s way blinded Eve to the way of the Lord, to His
goodness and beauty, to the blessing of walking in obedience to Him,
consequently, polluting her soul and that of her husband’s.
Spiritual
blindness is a direct result of a hardened heart (Eph. 4:18), therefore, when
the word is sown into a heart laden with a bedrock of offense, the hearer
may receive the word immediately with joy, (maybe truly having the desire to
embrace and walk in the truth) as was the case, I am imagine, with Eve, but
when the persecution (suffering unjustly), pressures, trials, tribulations, and
distresses of life—the temptations of this world come, the hearer is blinded to
God’s goodness and the redeeming value of those experiences and he/she stumbles
or falls away.
The
Greek word used in Matthew 13:21 for stumbles or falls
away is the word skandalizo.
The
word skandalizo means:
1. to
put a stumbling block or impediment in the way, upon which another may trip and
fall
2. metaph.
to offend, to cause a person to begin to distrust and desert one whom he ought
to trust and obey
3. be
offended in one, i.e. to see in another what I disapprove of and what hinders
me from acknowledging his authority (which of course is rebellion)
4. to
cause one to judge unfavorably or unjustly of another, since one who stumbles
or whose foot gets entangled feels annoyed
5. to
cause displeasure, to make indignant—one feels the mingled emotions of wrath
and scorn or contempt, as when a person is exasperated at one despised.
When
we become skandalizo or offended, we produce a host of
undesirable fruit such as bitterness, resentment, revenge, anger, annoyance, wrath,
scorn, and contempt. The most bitter of fruit produced through taking up
offense (skandalizo) is rebellion (skandalizo).
Rebellion
is an open avowed renunciation of the authority of the government to which one
owes allegiance; it is open resistance to lawful authority; it is a refusal to
honor and obey authority. As was the case with Adam and Eve in the Garden. They
exalted their will above God's and reaped the consequences of their bitter
choice to rebel against God's sovereign, loving authority.
This
fruit of offense (rebellion) becomes evident when we position ourselves as the
avenger. Choosing to hold unforgiveness toward another is a form of vengeance.
We choose to hold on to our bitterness, anger, pain, etc., in hopes of
punishing the offender. In doing so, we position ourselves in direct opposition
to God’s authority, we, in essence, usurp (seize) His authority, taking that
which belongs to Him alone:
“Beloved, do not avenge (to vindicate one's right, do one
justice; to protect, defend, one person from another; to avenge which is to take satisfaction for an injury by
punishing the injuring party; to vindicate by inflicting pain or evil on the
wrong doer) yourselves, but
rather give place to wrath (anger,
temper; movement or agitation of the soul; impulse, desire, any violent
emotion, but esp. anger; wrath, indignation; anger used in punishment); for
it is written, ‘Vengeance (revenging,
vengeance (the infliction of pain on another, in return for an injury or
offense), punishment) is
Mine, I will repay,’ says the Lord” (Romans
12:19).
Vengeance
belongs to God alone! He ALONE, the omniscient, omnipotent God is capable of
handling vengeance without it destroying Him. He ALONE exacts vengeance with
eternity past, present, and future in His heart. He ALONE exacts vengeance in a
way that is fully redemptive, fully perfect, and fully just.
(Note:
This is not meant to discourage one from taking legal action when a crime is
committed. God has established and ordained the civil authorities to carry out
punishment on the evil doers of society (Romans 13:4). We are called to forgive
the perpetrator, to release that person into God’s hands. As we forgive the
perpetrator from our heart, we, then, with a clear conscience before God, can
release that person into the hands of the civil authorities, who are ordained
by God to deal with criminal offenses.)
The
great I AM, the Sovereign Ruler of the Universe, alone, is our avenger, as we surrender our heart,
placing our trust in Him, He truly will take care of us!
“The
LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God, my strength, in whom
I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. I will
call upon the LORD, who is worthy to be praised; so shall I be saved from my
enemies.” (Psalm 18:2-3).
When
we take up offense and walk in unforgiveness (imprisoning ourselves and the one
(s) we have not forgiven), we usurp the authority to avenge that belongs to God
alone; this is the ultimate act of pride. When we harbor offense, we are
basically saying, “God, I don’t believe you will take care of this situation,
therefore, I will take care of it myself. I will protect myself. I can be my
own rock, fortress, strength, and stronghold; I will take care of my enemies as
I see fit!”
We
have elevated our will above that of the King of kings and Lord of lords (Rev.
19:16), above the high and lofty One Who inhabits eternity, Whose Name is holy
(Isaiah 57:15). God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. (James
4:6) Not one of us desires to sit in opposition to the Lord, but that is just
what we do if we harbor offense or unforgiveness in our hearts.
To
elevate our desires or our strategy in dealing with an offender we have
violated the First Commandment as recorded in Exodus 20:2-3, “’I am the Lord your God, who
brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of bondage. You shall
have no other gods before Me.
Webster’s
1828 Dictionary defines idol as: an
image, form, or representation, usually of a man or other animal, consecrated
as an object of worship; a pagan deity; a person loved and honored to
adoration; anything on which we set our affections; that to which we indulge an
excessive and sinful attachment.
Let’s
look at the last aspect of this definition: anything
on which we set our affections; that to which we indulge an excessive and
sinful attachment.
If
we set our affections (a bent of mind towards a particular object) on making
someone pay or indulging in excessive and sinful attachment to our desire to
make that person pay, we have erected an idol in our hearts.
The
Lord, in His awesome greatness and tender mercy, created us to worship Him and
Him alone, because He as our Creator alone deserves all glory and honor. To
revere anything above Him, not only dishonors Him, but leaves us empty and
broken. The lure of idolatry promises satisfaction, but in the end we are left
empty, or worse, devastated.
Remember
the deceitfulness of sin? “Revenge is sweet,” so says the world. The allure of
this false promise of the satisfaction of making someone pay for what they have
done to us may seem sweet at first, but in the end will leave dregs of bitter
gall in our soul.
We
once had a home with a gas fireplace. To warm the house on cold evening, we
simply pushed a button, turned a knob and viola, we had a cozy fire. But let’s
say, one night my husband and I decided that instead of just an old gas fire,
we wanted the real thing and went out to the near by woods and gathered fire
wood and kindling, piled it into our fireplace, and lit a match. What do you
think would have been the result? Not only would the fireplace be destroyed,
but our entire house as well! Why? That fireplace was not designed to house a
wood fire.
Just
as is the case with you and me. We were not designed to house the fire of
vengeance. Only God ALONE can handle vengeance and not be destroyed.
As
we have seen, vengeance belongs to God alone and if taken into our hearts,
produces a host of rotten fruit, and eventually destroys us.
There
is also another noxious byproduct of harboring offense and vengeance in our
hearts, that being demonic torment. In Ephesians 4:26-27, we discover that in
harboring offense, we give the enemy a legal right to operate in our lives: “Be angry (aroused to anger), and do not
sin (to miss the mark; to
miss or wander from the path of uprightness and honor, to do or go wrong; to
wander from the law of God, violate God's law, sin): do not let the sun go
down on your wrath (indignation—extreme
anger mingled with contempt, disgust, or abhorrence; wrath—violent anger, and
exasperation—irritation, extreme degree of anger; violent passion), nor give
place (any portion or place
marked off; an inhabited place; opportunity, power, occasion for acting) to the devil.”
Here
we discover that anger is a valid emotion, but that it only becomes sin when we
refuse to deal with that anger on God’s terms. In allowing a day to draw to a
close without dealing with our anger, we basically roll out the welcome matt of
our heart to the enemy. We, in essence, throw open the door of our heart
granting the enemy a place marked off, a place to inhabit—we give him
opportunity and power to act in our lives. Does this mean we become possessed?
Absolutely not. But what it does mean is that we have now opened ourselves up
to the enemy’s influence in our lives. In whatever area of our heart we harbor
offense/vengeance, it is in that area we experience the enemy’s influence and
subsequent torment.
About
15 years ago, I discovered that I had harbored offense in my heart on a number
of different levels concerning a number of different people. Some of the offenses
were so profound; I found it difficult to forgive, even though I knew the Lord
commanded me to forgive.
As
a child and throughout my life, I had experienced a deep sense of rejection and
abandonment, some of which I perceived correctly and some of which I did not. A
series of events also occurred during that period in my childhood making it
evident to me that I had not been protected. In my offense, I became bitter
toward the one (my father) who should have protected and cared for me, but in
my view, had failed me. As I harbored this offense in my heart, I opened the
door to the enemy and experienced years of tormenting fear; fear of trusting,
fear of not being taken care of, fear of abandonment, fear of loss…fear, fear,
fear. Fear was my constant companion.
Even
after I became a Christian at 19 years old, I was still plagued by fear. I
sought the Lord for the solution to my dilemma and He was faithful to show me,
through His Word, an avenue of repentance, healing
and restoration through forgiveness. It was not until I began to deal with the
offense in my heart that I finally found relief from years of torment.
I
made a profound discovery that radically changed my life and placed me on the
path of forgiveness: forgiveness is a choice. I could either choose to forgive
or I could choose to harbor offense in my heart. Once I chose to forgive, I was
then ready to confess my sin to the Father and acknowledge that vengeance
belonged to Him alone. I asked His forgiveness for usurping His authority,
which placed God back in a place of preeminence in my heart and dispelled the
enemy’s influence in that area of my heart. Once that was completed, the
business of healing and restoration could begin.
I
also recognized that forgiveness is not my stamp of approval on the offense. On
the contrary! Forgiveness is a choice to release someone from a debt.
Remember: “Forgive
us our debts as we forgive our debtors” (Matt.
6:12). An offender (or in the case of abuse or a crime, a perpetrator) owes us
something, but we make the choice to release them from that debt, allowing God
alone to collect on the debt (again in the instance of a crime, we forgive, and
are free with a clean heart to pursue legal recourse in cases where it is
warranted and/or necessary).
We
release vengeance into His hands, so that He may avenge according to His will.
While vengeance would destroy us, God in His infinite wisdom and power, exacts
vengeance in a perfect, redemptive, completely just way. Once we choose to
release the offender, the process of walking out the forgiveness begins. No
longer bound, we are free to pursue the One Who restores our souls (Psalm
23:3).
I
have since adopted a strategy I call the “Five Minute Principle.” Throughout
each day, I make it a point to forgive every five minutes. Be it a great or
small offense—I release and forgive. For one who tended to become easily
annoyed with even small things, this has been a life giving strategy.
I
have forgiven the devastating offenses from my past and I choose to forgive the
offenses of the present: one who treats me with contempt at the check out line
at WalMart, I forgive the maniac who cuts me off on the highway, and I forgive
my computer for shutting off on me in the middle of writing this book. Truly, I
forgive each and every annoyance, hurt, offense—whether human or otherwise.
Whether great or small. I find this keeps my heart clear of the most insidious
impediment to fellowship with God and others—offense.
Because
the heart is deceitful above all (Jer. 17:9), I pray the Psalm 139:23-24 prayer
on a regular basis:
“Search (examine, investigate) me, O God, and know my
heart (the middle or center
of anything; soul; mind, knowledge, thinking, reflection, memory, resolution, determination of; conscience; as seat
of appetites, emotions and passions; as seat of courage); try (to examine, try (of gold), prove) me, and know my anxieties; and see
if there is any wicked way (pain,
sorrow; idol) in me, and lead
me in the way everlasting."
I
will go into this in more detail in the next two parts of this teaching, but
suffice it to say, I find I am in need of the Lord's mercy each and every
moment of each and every day to sift through my heart. When He reveals areas of
offense that I do not see, He is faithful to pour out His grace for repentance,
that I may forgive.
The
Five Minute Principle is rooted in Jesus' advice to Peter: when Peter
asked Jesus how many times he was to forgive. Peter must have thought he was
being quite generous when he suggested that he forgive up to seven times, but
Jesus replied, “...I do
not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” (Matthew 18:22). It is the principle of perpetual
forgiveness.
I
used to find that at the end of any given day, my eyebrows were knit and I was
annoyed or peeved about something. Once I dealt with the bedrock of offense in
my heart and began to live by the “Five
Minute Principle” I found my eyebrows were no longer knit and I was no
longer irritated at the close of a day.
As
we daily open our hearts to the Lord, giving Him full access to every area, He
is faithful to reveal any and all offenses. In the next two chapters, we will
look at the symptoms or fruit of offense which are a sure sign forgiveness is
in order. If we are displaying this fruit, it is an indication that we are
offended and are in need of God's grace to forgive.
I
have developed a simple process to follow in laying the ax to the root of
offense which I will also share in this series. The process, keep in mind is not
intended to be a formula to follow in a precise and exact manner. It is simply
created to be a guide based upon biblical principles; seek God through His
word, forgive, repent, receive His forgiveness, and by His grace, walk it
out.
A
special note: If you, precious one, have experienced grave offenses such as
sexual or physical abuse, I would encourage you to get together with a mature,
trusted sister in Christ (if you are a woman) or brother in Christ (if you are
a man), a Christian counselor, or a pastor to pray through the deep pain and
potential root of bitterness which is often times associated with a serious
offense of that nature (James 5:16).
If
you have been a victim of abuse, please know that you are not to blame. The
perpetrator is 100% responsible for his/her behavior; 100%. What you are
dealing with before the Lord is simply your response to the perpetrator’s offense
against you, the offense/unforgiveness, bitterness, and/or vengeance you are
harboring toward that person. You are surrendering vengeance to God, Who alone
is the avenger.
Keep
in mind, while forgiveness is a choice, the process of walking out that choice
will take time as you learn to think, respond, react, and process according to
grace rather than bitterness (renewing of the mind: Romans 12:1-2).
As
we surrender offense in our hearts, the God of peace is faithful to sanctify us
completely, that we may be blameless before Him. (1 Thes. 5:22-24). Forgiveness
is the key that unlocks the bait box of offense, setting us at liberty to live
and love unhindered.
If
we surrender offense, He is there to heal and mend our hearts. May we
begin to enjoy the freedom that is ours in Christ through forgiveness. And most
importantly, may we enjoy sweet, unhindered fellowship with Him.
Throughout
the Psalms, we find beautiful examples of prayers from those who chose to open their hearts to the
Lord, allowing Him access to every area, every recess, of their hearts, that He
would sift through and uproot anything that hinders sweet fellowship with Him.
In
Psalm 19:12-14, the Psalmist’s prayer reveals a tender heart towards the Lord;
a heart laid bare, a heart seeking sweet intimacy with Him. The Psalmist,
David, recognized that rebellion, a fruit of offense, was an obstacle he must
be free from if he desired intimacy with God:
“Who
can understand his errors? Cleanse me from secret faults (to be hidden carefully; concealed). Keep back Your servant also from
presumptuous (arrogant,
proud) sins; let them
not have dominion over me. Then I shall be blameless (complete, sound, unimpaired; to
deal in integrity, act uprightly), and I shall be innocent (clear, free) of great transgression (rebellion). Let the words of
my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable (pleasurable, delightful,
favorable) in Your sight, O
LORD, my strength and my Redeemer.” Psalm 19:12-14
The
original Hebrew word for presumptuous is a word that means arrogant or proud.
David understood that arrogance and pride were at the root of great
transgression~rebellion. As we discussed earlier, when we harbor offense, we usurp
(or rebel against) God’s authority (vengeance belongs to Him alone) and in
doing so, we create a seedbed in our hearts which, if cultivated (harboring
offense), will produce an entire crop of rotten fruit.
Let
us follow the example of the Psalmist. As we repent and release vengeance,
choosing to walk in accordance with God’s way, releasing vengeance into His
hands, His grace is poured out on us, softening that hard area of our heart
once walled off in the prison of offense.
And
most importantly, fellowship with Him, previously disrupted, is sweetly
restored!
(Excerpt
from “IN PURSUIT OF GOD’S HEART” by
Rachelle Crawford)
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