Discourse On A Plane

On my return flight from D.C., the Lord answered a prayer; I was seated next to a woman (Patty) who had participated in the women’s march on Washington. I had seen women marching while in D.C. and had seen coverage on TV; as I watched and listened, I observed a profound philosophical, ideological, and fundamental worldview difference between them and me. I desired to know from a personal point of view how these women formulated their view of the world, and what motivated these women to march.

I opened the conversation with asking “what brought you to our nation’s Capitol.” She answered, “the march,” then asked, “what brought you to D.C.” I answered, “the inauguration.” She bristled and said, “Oh.”

I told her I admired her commitment and passion for a cause that compelled her to travel from Chicago to Washington for a 24 hour stay in order to participate in the march. I asked her if she would like to share what motivated her to do so, she said, “Sure.”

She was a single, educated, well-informed 40 something woman who is employed as a researcher for a global management company; she had done her homework in researching policy, politics, and the like; it was fascinating to talk to someone who had actually educated herself versus simply parroting liberal talking points. She intelligently shared her philosophy of life and how she developed that philosophy. I could tell she was speaking from her heart and from personal conviction. And, I could see we held polar opposite views on almost everything. I set my heart to be open, to really listen to Patty, rather than focusing on making my point or converting her to my perspective.

Her primary concern was the “war on women.” She gave examples such as being harassed by men (verbally and on one occasion grabbed) on her daily jogs through the city of Chicago, her dismay at the pay discrepancy between men and women, and her disdain for men getting into her “business” (pointing to her abdomen/reproductive organs). She said this was unacceptable and she will no longer take it. She marched to draw awareness to this “war.” She asked, “You see how wrong this is, don’t you?”

I shared that my heart went out to her that under no conditions was it right for her to be harassed when she is out for a jog and I understood her frustration with pay discrepancies. I understood her frustration with feeling like she was not valued.
We then had a lengthy discussion on the topic of the sanctity of life. She believed a woman had the right to choose what to do with her body and no one, especially a man, had the right to tell her what to do or not to do with it. I told her I understood her desire to conduct herself as she pleased, and shared that those, like me who advocate for the sanctity of life do so based upon principle and upon God’s standard (we talked about man’s standard verses God’s). God lovingly weaves each individual together in his/her mother’s womb; He creates each human being in His image, therefore life has intrinsic value and is precious.

She said she saw my point, but was disgusted that a woman would be forced to have a baby. She asked what if the woman cannot support the baby? What if a woman has no family? I affirmed that that was a legitimate question and as a Christian, I believe it is my (individually and the church’s) responsibility to assist and support single mothers however we can. I gave examples of churches across the country that have ministries to assist the single mothers and that one of the great blessings of belonging to a church is that one has an entire community to support the mother—emotionally, spiritually, financially, etc.

Patty also launched a defense for the LGBTQ community and asked what right I had to demand they change. I told her that in no uncertain terms was I out to change anyone. What people do or don’t do in their personal lives is between them and God. It is not up to me to change anyone, only God can change a human heart. She asked why someone would want to change. Good question! I shared that we each have a responsibility before God to live a life consistent with His standard, but only God can empower someone to do so. My responsibility is to share God’s love and truth—He alone changes, heals, and restores hearts.
It was an interesting discourse to say the least. We fundamentally disagreed, but the conversation remained civil.

I then asked about her life in Chicago, how she liked growing up and living in the City. She liked it and as an avid traveler, has been able to take numerous trips for work and for pleasure. She shared about her travel experiences and she also shared that she was a second degree black belt and taught self defense classes to women. She gave me some great tips as to how to effectively defend myself if attacked!

We talked about the elections, her opinion on the new administration, and once again, the “war on women.” I asked her if she would actually consider it a “war.” She conceded that maybe “war” was too strong of a word, but asserted again that there is a problem with the way women were treated and she was “over it” and “was not going to take it any longer.”

Again, my heart went out to her. She obviously had had some very bad experiences. We found common ground in that we had both had experienced pain at the hands of those who would desire to oppress and hurt us.

I shared that growing up with a black father, I understood what it felt like to be harassed (verbally and physically), rejected, and reviled due simply to the fact that my dad was black. I told her that I realized I was given a precious gift from my father as he taught us that those who rejected and reviled us were the ones we should pity. He taught us that no matter what others thought of us or no matter how we were treated, it was how we chose to respond, our attitude, that defined how we would live life. We were not victims and would not conduct ourselves as victims.

My father and mother demonstrated the love of God, no matter how they were treated, they did not return evil for evil and they did not allow mistreatment to diminish their hearts. They refused to become bitter, they refused to take vengeance. That was my example, and for that, I was grateful.
My dad demonstrated the love of God to those who would revile and reject us. This led into a discussion about God’s love.

She asked great questions and made legitimate challenges to my assertions regarding God’s love. She said she hadn’t seen much of His love and she also shared that she didn’t like “religion” because people did terrible things in the name of God. She said she grew up in a particular denomination, but grew tired of it due to the way people expressed Christianity in her childhood church.

I told her I understood! I shared that while fallible men and women misrepresent God (accidentally or on purpose), God was consistently loving, kind, merciful, and gracious. God never disappoints because He always has his purposes and our best in His heart.

She asked how I could know God’s standard of life and love, how could anyone be sure? I told her that it all was recorded and expressed in the Bible. She said that she had seen so many people twist the Bible to mean exactly what they want and it was “despicable” to her. I told her I agreed! That’s why it is important to read the Bible ourselves, so we discover the truth about Who God is, how He views us, and His standard for all.

I shared that my example as to how to conduct myself was based upon the Biblical account of Jesus and the woman at the well. She said she had actually read that account and she was familiar with it. I shared that my life’s goal is to treat others the way Jesus treated the woman at the well; He was merciful, kind and truthful.
I told her that as a fallible human being, I know that at times, I fail to demonstrate His love properly. Again, that’s why I was encouraging her to read the Bible for herself; it is important to discover Who God is rather than depending on fallible man to represent Him perfectly.

As we began our descent into Chicago, I told Patty that I believed that God had arranged for us to be seated next to each other. She asked, “Really? Why?” I told her that I had prayed that I would sit next to a marcher because I truly wanted to hear from someone who was involved. She said, “Oh, wow!” I thanked her for sharing so candidly and expressed my delight at meeting her. She shook my hand and said, “Nice to meet you too.”

Much to her surprise, as we stood up, I hugged her. At that moment, her heart softened and her voice became tender and she said, “Thank you. Please be safe traveling home.” I told her to do the same and that she would remain in my prayers. She smiled and made her way off the plane.


I walked away from my conversation with Patty acquiring a greater understanding of how she and so many at the march perceived the world. It gave me a greater compassion for the marchers, gave me more insight into how I can better demonstrate the love of God to those who have polar opposite philosophies, ideologies, and worldviews. Patty will remain in my prayers. I pray she comes to know the One Who loves her deeply and gave His life for her.